spygeek

I met Don on IRC in 1995. I used to hang out on a channel named #centperk, which was for fans of the show Friends. (Well, at the time, it was a cool new show and people actually admitted to liking it.) There was a whole group of people who hung out there and got to be friends. The first time I met Don in real life, I had decided to take a road trip to see a guy in Michigan with whom I'd been carrying out a bit of a net romance. Columbus, OH was on the way, so I stopped in on the way there and again on the way back home to Philly. Don and I hit it off pretty well as friends right away...we hung out, went out to a bar, and wandered around the OSU campus. He lived with his girlfriend Jess and their young daughter, and they were all very nice and cool.

The attempted romance in Ann Arbor didn't work out well at all, and so when I stopped back in Columbus, I was licking my wounds. Don and I hung out some more. At one point we were sitting on the trunk of my car behind his house, and he put his head on my shoulder. Now, at this point I had just basically been dumped by this little shithead and Don had a girlfriend who was sleeping maybe 15 feet away, plus I had almost no experience with guys. So it did kind of freak me out a little.

Now, 11 years later I still distinctly recall that moment in time. Don wasn't the love of my life and he wasn't even the kind of guy I would have wanted a relationship with. He was a lazy pothead who drifted from job to job while Jess worked her ass off to pay the rent and keep their kid in diapers. Later, he would cheat on Jess with me, further highlighting his character (and mine, but I made peace with that a long time ago). But there was a sweetness about him, and he is one of the few guys who has ever made me feel genuinely desirable. Months later, I would go off the deep end, as many girls with low self esteem are wont to do when they figure out that certain guys pay attention to them when they act like sluts. But at that point in time I was still really innocent, having only barely dated one or two jerks, and having a sweet, dorky guy spontaneously make some moves on me was cool and made me feel worthwhile.

So why does going to a concert make me think of Don? Well, we only fooled around once or twice but I visited them probably a dozen times over the next two years. Don and I would hit the bars, drinking Rolling Rock and getting high in a dark corner or the restroom. I didn't spend alot of time in bars while at school or afterwards so most of my bar memories are of Columbus dives like Mean Mr. Mustard's or Skully's. So walking into a dark club instantly takes me back to those times with my sweet friend.

I lost touch with Don years and years ago when I still lived in Illinois. I know that he and Jess broke up at some point. He's one of those people that I consider trying to find again, and then realize that it wouldn't be the same and it would probably ruin my memories of him, and of myself. I'm not the same person I was then, and I'm sure he isn't either.

I wonder what Nathan's going to think on Sunday when I order a Rolling Rock and get a bit misty.