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December 11, 2006
Tomorrow...the big day
Tomorrow morning Brian and I meet with the surgeon to discuss my hope to have surgery. If all goes well at that appointment, I should get a surgery date. I'm excited and nervous about being so close to actually having the surgery. While I've only been actively working on this since July, it's actually been a much, much longer process than anyone realizes.
When I was about 14, I watched an episode of Oprah after school one day. They discussed various types of "stomach stapling" operations. I remember thinking at that time how I wished I could have an operation like that. I knew I had a problem with food and my weight even then. Now, truthfully I haven't been dreaming and plotting to have my intestinal tract sliced and diced for the last 18 years, but I have thought back on that day several times these past months.
I wish I didn't have to do it...oh God, do I wish that. I don't want to have to work harder than everyone else just to be "normal." In college I had a friend named Kelly, who was about a size 6, and we ate most of our meals together. She ate anything she wanted and never gained an ounce, I ate the same things and my weight just creeped up. It pisses me off, truth be told. Not Kelly specifically but seeing anyone who maintains their size, seemingly effortlessly. I know it's not effortless...the slender women I know eat moderately and exercise. But I won't lose weight by doing what they do, I'll just maintain the status quo. So I need the gastric bypass tool to get to a better baseline. At least that's what I tell myself.
Posted by Laura at December 11, 2006 09:42 PM
Comments
Years ago you posted a message about edward noton lookig likr bruno kirby. i thought i was the only one who noticed. bruno died august of 2006, edward channels him for all he ever really wanted to be. my surgery is on tuesday.
Posted by: Becky at January 12, 2007 09:44 PM